Log in

01 January 2013 @ 03:10 pm
Considering there are only less than 10 rules in being a member of this community, one would think everyone would follow them. But apparently people do not read the rules before joining, or they just choose to ignore them. This is becoming a very huge issue apparently. I am going to take this time to address each rule right now. If you do not follow EVERY rule I will ban you, as your mod I have that responsibility.

RULE #1: You must have an eating disorder to join this community. This isn't a quick fix to weight loss. You need to have a genuine eating disorder to post here.
Pretty self explanatory, isn't it? But we are CONSTANTLY getting people here saying how they want to lose weight because they simply feel 'fat'. That is not how an eating disorder works. And considering it's almost summertime I know there are going to be dozens of posts like that. I WILL be deleting them immediately before people can give them tips on how to loose weight in an unhealthy way.

RULE #2: Please put any pictures behind a cut, if you don't I will give you one warning and if you still fail to delete your post I will delete it.
This is an extremely important rule and everyday someone ignores it. I don't care if it's just a photo of your dog, it needs to be placed behind a cut. ESPECIALLY if it's something that could be triggering. If you do not know how to put a photo behind a cut it's very, very simple. Take a look here

RULE #3: Do not distribute dangerous advice to others that could harm them.
I cannot stress this rule enough. If I see a comment of someone telling another member how to purge, lose weight rapidly, or what diet pills or laxatives to use, I will delete your comment immediately. This community will NOT be the reason someone became ill, developed an eating disorder, or even died.

RULE #4: We do not encourage "group fasts" here. Do not ask for people to join you in harming yourself.
These 'group fasts' or 'texting buddies' can become very dangerous. Some people may even use them as a competition and therefore become very ill. I understand some people want the support of a texting buddy but I know for a fact most people will send a text to the other person telling them to stop eating or tell them 'they're strong enough not to eat.' Disgusting. It is also very dangerous on the account you have no idea who is on the other side of that phone. It could be ANYONE.

RULE #5: Do NOT post your exact location when/if filling in "Current Location". This is for your safety.
I know a lot of your phones automatically put your current location into your post, but it is strictly against the rules. All I'm asking is that you check your post once it's posted to make sure it is not added to it. If you do not delete it, your post will eventually be deleted itself with no warning.

RULE #6: Do NOT delete comments on your entry or replies.
This is very common with people who do not have an eating disorder to begin with. They get angry at what other members have to say, to keep them safe, so they end up deleting comments they don't like. I, as well as the other mod, will not tolerate this. It is out of respect you keep those comments on your posts, whether you like them or not. If they are harmful or disrespectful towards you, send a PM to me and I will take care of it.

Simple, right? If you have any problems with any of these rules, contact me through PM, or comment here.
24 October 2016 @ 11:47 am

Hey all I haven't been active on LJ in many years and all my old friends are gone. Are there any good ED Blogs that you can recommend? I'm looking for new interactions. Thanks

21 October 2016 @ 06:18 pm
i cant believe i am getting back into the swing of not eating. im getting good at sneaking food into the bin and hiding it in really creative places. for example... the ciggerette bin hahah! i am controled. its hard, of course nothing comes easy but when i see other people eat and i see how big they are getting i cant help but feel gross. i went to take a health bar outa my snack box last night and i saw this other girl getting something unhealthy and i saw the size of her and i couldnt face the bar i had in my hand.. i gave it back in!!! then today at lunch i knew i had to eat cause i wanted to do the gym session.. so my salad that i have consisting of lettice cucumber and tomato and two boiled egga..... it didnt even taist nice i really couldnt eat it.. i got no joy outa eating so i chopt it all up and cut it all up and hid it. got an apple took two bites got bored and threw it away under newspaper. i feel so powerfull. at dinner time i just couldnt face it. everyone was eating chips .. yes i admit i craved them but i stayed strong... i fuckin did it... i controled myself... a month ago i wouldnt have been able to do that. i can do it now. i know now that i will be able to not order takeaway with the others tomorrow night. i am stronger. and i have come too far to take orders from a cookie.... or in my case popcorn and takeaway.
i am exercising all the time.. yeah somethimes i think fuck me im gunna pass out... but where i am overweight anyway my body can cope.
im not just saying im overweight.... its a fact. i swear i actually am.. its sickening.. i have never been so big.. i blame it on the medications over the years and me stuffing my big pie hole.
i am strong .. i am powerful .. i am in control
20 October 2016 @ 08:17 pm
Triggers triggers triggers
All are triggers at home. My sister dieting, very low carb diet called Pronokal, medical approved. She is freezing now bcs of lack of Cals. One of my friends following the same diet and he comes to get weighted today at my home with my sister.
Makes me feel fat and ugly and worthless!!
Today I had a coffee, tuna, popcorn and Diet Coke.
I worked out for 40 minutes...
i feel really really bad!!!! I feel I'm the only fat perosn here!!
18 October 2016 @ 08:03 am
Very quiet here lately.
Hello girls!! Have a nice day :)
17 October 2016 @ 01:34 pm
I know my relationship with food isn't good. I know it have never been, but I can notice now it is worse than I thought. I'm so afraid of gaining weight in one part and in the other other ort i want to eat. I'm afraid to loose control and then gain weight and I'm afraid of develop a binge eating disorder I won't forgive myself for that. That would be a total loose of control of myself. Idk where I am now... ednos yes... but where? Not here, not there... not anorexic nor bulimic nor bed. Just ednos and feeling obese, sometimes purging, sometimes fasting but craving all the time on sweets... on chocolates and bread OMG! I'm so afraid of gaining weight. For the first time in my life I feel almost comfortable with my body, of course u want to loose more but I feel almost comfortable... I'm so afraid to ruin it all.
16 October 2016 @ 03:03 pm
So I ate a bread (sweet) and a chai tea... feeling so guilty bcs of the bread.
I'm not going to purge though.
I feel now just like I felt at the beginning of my sickness. Wanting to be thin, not controlling myself, fighting myself between eating or not. Craving for sweets and chocolates and wanting to fast. So confusing situation. Like if I wanted to binge and eat everything but feeling guilty about it.
Like two persons in my body.
One wanting to eat every stupid delicious thing.
Second person wanting to fast and be thin.
Both angry with the other part bcs decisions are contradictory.
Then super angry bcs first person always wins and it makes me fat.
But also angry if second one wins bcs I want to eat.
It was easier when I was afraid to eat... now I am like in that moment between relapsing or not... and I hate to be there.
Then just relapse please!!!
12 October 2016 @ 11:06 pm
so i have been doing quite well i think.
does anyone else find that when they dont eat they feel alot more placid and calmer.
i still and i think always will associate starving with being pure controled clean perfect happy neat and tidy and overall a nicer person. when i eat i feel lazy imperfect and a slob who gives in to the body cravings.
for three days all that i have eaten is 2 bananas one apple and some lettice salad thingy and a roll. not a day.. over three days. i have been at the gym every day on the cross trainer and weights. sleeping is becoming an issue again but i can manage i think.
its differerent this time tho. i dont actually want to tell anyone bout anything that i am up to. not even snide remarks or comments. i have actually been telling people that i love eating and i love my food so much that i have to eat. okok big lie. i have dinner buit i dont actually eat it. on monday night i put it on a mates plate and some in a paper tissue, tonight i put most of it in my huge cup and then disposed of it in the sanitry towel bin. people are thinking i am eating but i really aint. and if i do eat 9 times outa 10 i am sick. but i love the way its a secret the way everyone is fooled. it feels so good. i have just gotta keep this up.
is it ok to keep lying about food intake.. i feel like a total liar... prob cause i am but its for a good cause right?
much love
11 October 2016 @ 10:23 am

Everyone finish this sentence with something ridiculous that people with an ED would understand. (Trying to be silly but let me know if this is offensive)

Mine is: You know you have an eating disorder when...

... you feel visibly fatter all over including your face and arms two minutes after eating one piece of bacon.