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01 January 2013 @ 03:10 pm
Considering there are only less than 10 rules in being a member of this community, one would think everyone would follow them. But apparently people do not read the rules before joining, or they just choose to ignore them. This is becoming a very huge issue apparently. I am going to take this time to address each rule right now. If you do not follow EVERY rule I will ban you, as your mod I have that responsibility.

RULE #1: You must have an eating disorder to join this community. This isn't a quick fix to weight loss. You need to have a genuine eating disorder to post here.
Pretty self explanatory, isn't it? But we are CONSTANTLY getting people here saying how they want to lose weight because they simply feel 'fat'. That is not how an eating disorder works. And considering it's almost summertime I know there are going to be dozens of posts like that. I WILL be deleting them immediately before people can give them tips on how to loose weight in an unhealthy way.

RULE #2: Please put any pictures behind a cut, if you don't I will give you one warning and if you still fail to delete your post I will delete it.
This is an extremely important rule and everyday someone ignores it. I don't care if it's just a photo of your dog, it needs to be placed behind a cut. ESPECIALLY if it's something that could be triggering. If you do not know how to put a photo behind a cut it's very, very simple. Take a look here

RULE #3: Do not distribute dangerous advice to others that could harm them.
I cannot stress this rule enough. If I see a comment of someone telling another member how to purge, lose weight rapidly, or what diet pills or laxatives to use, I will delete your comment immediately. This community will NOT be the reason someone became ill, developed an eating disorder, or even died.

RULE #4: We do not encourage "group fasts" here. Do not ask for people to join you in harming yourself.
These 'group fasts' or 'texting buddies' can become very dangerous. Some people may even use them as a competition and therefore become very ill. I understand some people want the support of a texting buddy but I know for a fact most people will send a text to the other person telling them to stop eating or tell them 'they're strong enough not to eat.' Disgusting. It is also very dangerous on the account you have no idea who is on the other side of that phone. It could be ANYONE.

RULE #5: Do NOT post your exact location when/if filling in "Current Location". This is for your safety.
I know a lot of your phones automatically put your current location into your post, but it is strictly against the rules. All I'm asking is that you check your post once it's posted to make sure it is not added to it. If you do not delete it, your post will eventually be deleted itself with no warning.

RULE #6: Do NOT delete comments on your entry or replies.
This is very common with people who do not have an eating disorder to begin with. They get angry at what other members have to say, to keep them safe, so they end up deleting comments they don't like. I, as well as the other mod, will not tolerate this. It is out of respect you keep those comments on your posts, whether you like them or not. If they are harmful or disrespectful towards you, send a PM to me and I will take care of it.

Simple, right? If you have any problems with any of these rules, contact me through PM, or comment here.
26 September 2016 @ 12:25 pm

Hi all, hope everyone is well.

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16 September 2016 @ 03:23 pm
Hi everyone, I'm new here. I'm 38 years old and relapsing for the first time in years. So I created a new blog and found that this seems to be one of the only communities still active. I honestly don't know how I let myself get into this shape, I have close to 100 lbs to lose. Actually, I do know how I got into this shape, I basically have to either have total control over my food or I have none at all. I'm tired of feeling like this and have decided that total control is the better option. Thanks for listening to my rambling.
15 September 2016 @ 04:51 pm
It's been over a year since I've been on last. I was a frequent user before under a different name. My weight is at an all time high and I can't seem to get it under control. I'm going to be more committed to this sight for support and inspiration. I know Staying at the weight I'm at is not good for my health. What is so frustrating is what used to be so easy for me is so hard now.
15 September 2016 @ 06:08 am
After a gentle workout yesterday I guess I really got myself going on the tired scale and came home and smoked some weed and then crashed the fuck out. I was knocked out till yesterday at 134pm and I had work scheduled at 130... thankfully the supervisor on duty is like my mega bff and offered to fix my time if I came in asap. So obviously I went to work. I looked terrible and fat as ever I'm sure, but I did shipment so I moved a lot so hopefully I burned some calories.

[long post ahead]Since I had woke up late, my wife made me breakfast later- she brought me my diet pills and I had a slice of vegan cheddar cheese and 5 unsalted saltine soda crackers... I drank this down with half a small container of coconut water (which is my mega vice for sweet munchies) ... I also drank some water though work didn't permit me to drink nearly as much as I wanted/needed to so I feel terrible about that.

For lunch my wife came and picked me up, 3rd day on the 3 day military diet lunch is like a slice of toast with/out butter and a cup of alt milk or something like that. I drank some soy coffee frappe from starbucks with sugar free syrups and espresso, I drank that completely and ignored the toast- I had only a bite or two and then tossed it (I was at work so no one really noticed) and then I had some more water.

When we got home, dinner was supposed to be tofu but my wife wanted a sandwich too so I made both, I had a small portion of tofu with some bbq sauce and then a small vegan ham & cheese sandwich because my wife kept insisting I eat since today had been rough. I smoked a little prior to this so I wasn't as objective.

Today I sent her off to work (its nearly 6am) cause she has a test (military junk) and I did all the dishes and made her coffee and a bowl of cereal. I'm going to make some ginger & lavender tea (fresh ginger, fresh lavender) with brown sugar or agave. I keep trying the stevia/splenda route and it doesn't work. It leaves a bitter, nasty taste in my mouth. At least the brown sugar is light and the agave isn't as sweet as honey (not that honey is vegan anyways, but to make my point lol)...

So anyways, I'm gonna make myself some tea and then probably take a double dose of my diet pills (because I meant to take 2 yesterday and only succeeded in taking one) and then try and force myself to go and workout at the gym again.

If anyone wants to motivate me just remind how I'm a lazy-fat-fuck and I'm a literal worthless piece of shit (because I really am) and how I should go to the gym and sweat and how I'll feel better...

---warning: the following portion of my post is pretty fucked up so don't read if you don't want to get messed up---

I recently found out about this water-cutting diet... supposedly you can lose anywhere between like 5 and 25+ pounds potentially. It's a whole day of water, diuretic water, sauna suits and really hot fucking baths with epsom salt. If you're not careful you gain all the weight back in two days time BUT if you could manage a successful water cut diet ... lose like, say, 15 pounds each week- you'd be at your goal weight in no time. I need to get down to that - next week I have a ton of days off and I might ride along with my work to the base and use the gym sauna there... that way I can try at least to lose SOME.
Math: I am currently --- weight, ie: a fat slob
I am 5 foot 3 inches (4 on a good day) and I want to weigh between 100 and 105.
For effectiveness of my maths, lets say I wanna weigh 115.
If I lost 5 pounds a week I would need to lose this weight consistently for at least 3 months to be nearer/at my goal weight.
If I lost 10 pounds a week I would only need to lose this weight consistently for 6 weeks to be nearer/at my goal weight.
If I lost, however, 20 pounds over night, for each week, I would only need 3 weeks to be nearer/at my goal weight.
Obviously the third option is best and ideal. But how do you keep off weight after a water cut?
I THINK I may have figured it out.
I was watching this girl on IG and she lost 65+ pounds on juicing for 90 days. I'm assuming she also lives in a country where it's much easier to buy tons of fruit in bulk and not have a heavy weighted job on your shoulders plus animals to take care of and school to attend as well. Which is totally fine. Good for her honestly.
But my wife and I are struggling month to month right now and a juicing diet is not ideal for the moment. Which is also fine.

So, since it's halfway through September, I figured, if I started next week like I said I have less hours that week, if I could do like, water cutting for 5 pounds for 4 days or 10 pounds for 2 days I could manage to be closer to my goal weight than ever.

I'm going to do more research because I don't want to put a lot of effort into something and then have it ripped away from me for eating or drinking the wrong things.

Okay, I'm done with my post. Thanks for reading or skimming or whathaveyou.


think thin ladies because thin is in~
14 September 2016 @ 05:19 am
Whether my stomach grumbles
Or aches
Or pangs me with guilty desire

I relish them because I remember then
I am in control

/sorry for this random statement, I'm really, really high, and my stomach is growling like a mofo and for the first time in a long time I'm in my right mindset and I can choose not to eat and I'm choosing not to and it feels fucking fantastic.
13 September 2016 @ 08:30 pm
I just can't stay away. I've missed you all.
13 September 2016 @ 04:41 pm
Both my wife and I are on day 2 of the altnerated/veganized version of the Military Diet. This is a 3 day diet, it helped my wife get down on inches when she was first trying to join the Navy. So we're doing it again and over again until we have funds to keep juicing. Juicing is so freaking expensive. But man I feel good when I juice. So hungry but not in a need-to-eat kind of way. Just in a serious hunger like I'm in control.

Actually, the military diet is great for gaining control again, for me at least.

I have a weird new inspiration. I'm obsessing over this celebrity guy (which is weird cause I'm a lesbian) and anyways it's giving me inspo to be thinner because I kind of want to be the kind of girl he'd like - if that makes sense. I mean, it's just nice I guess..

I decked out my phone in thinspo from really skinny perfect girls from ig... so everytime I want to eat I'm forced to see them and I'm less likely to binge. I'm supposed to have a certain dinner tonight but I'm going to cut out the heavier calorie items completely and go straight for the broccoli.

Hope everyone is well.

Think thin, stay skinny, good vibes.
07 September 2016 @ 03:57 pm
But I lost a ton of weight, so did my wife, and then we gained it all back. Mostly because while she was training in bootcamp I was fasting and working out a ton and since we're vegan she didn't have a lot she could eat- then we road tripped it across the states to our new home and we have legal green here in this state and so now I smoke a ton and get mega munchies and I gorge. So now I'm trying to cut back on munching so much, not my green intake though, that's the only thing that's keeping me from being uber depressed and bipolar as fuck. I mean, I'm still those things, but now I'm not as bad. Anyways, we both pretty much have decided we're failures which is okay cause now we can work on fixing it.

But we bought a juicer and have been doing a juice cleanse for the past day. It's now day 2 of the 3 day cleanse. After our cleanse is up we're going to go on a 30 day cleanse (for her) and a 90 day cleanse (for me) to get ourselves back to where we need to be.

We both have goals and we both want to reach them and even though she doesn't know to what extent my need to get thin is, we're both supporting each other.
I'm currently looking into a cleanse & detox pill, it's by APEX - I found an unbiased REAL review that actually gave it 9/10 rating. So here's to hoping.
In the past I've tried oxyelite pro (which was AMAZING and I wish I could find it again for not so freaking expensive) and raspberry ketones (currently taking now and they're okay) and then garcinia cambogia - that one didn't work for me or my wife. She tried them after. They literally did nothing - so what a waste. But I'll keep trying and I'm sure eventually I'll find something that does work well.

We left our scale behind when we moved across the states (my wife is military) and so I don't even know how much I weigh. In a sort of sense, I'm glad because I'm sure I'm a billion pounds (okay not seriously but probably more than I'd be okay with right now) and I think after we both start to lose some more weight I'll definitely look into a scale so I can keep track. I've been avoiding the gym and I'm not sure why. I do know I need to just up and do it and go and be done but it's easier to hate myself and lay in bed on the days I don't work.

Sorry for ranting.

I can't remember the last time I posted but it wasn't that long ago I don't think.

Cheers to everyone who is still around. Stay positive. <3