Log in

01 January 2013 @ 03:10 pm
[sticky post] MOD POST  
Considering there are only less than 10 rules in being a member of this community, one would think everyone would follow them. But apparently people do not read the rules before joining, or they just choose to ignore them. This is becoming a very huge issue apparently. I am going to take this time to address each rule right now. If you do not follow EVERY rule I will ban you, as your mod I have that responsibility.

RULE #1: You must have an eating disorder to join this community. This isn't a quick fix to weight loss. You need to have a genuine eating disorder to post here.
Pretty self explanatory, isn't it? But we are CONSTANTLY getting people here saying how they want to lose weight because they simply feel 'fat'. That is not how an eating disorder works. And considering it's almost summertime I know there are going to be dozens of posts like that. I WILL be deleting them immediately before people can give them tips on how to loose weight in an unhealthy way.

RULE #2: Please put any pictures behind a cut, if you don't I will give you one warning and if you still fail to delete your post I will delete it.
This is an extremely important rule and everyday someone ignores it. I don't care if it's just a photo of your dog, it needs to be placed behind a cut. ESPECIALLY if it's something that could be triggering. If you do not know how to put a photo behind a cut it's very, very simple. Take a look here

RULE #3: Do not distribute dangerous advice to others that could harm them.
I cannot stress this rule enough. If I see a comment of someone telling another member how to purge, lose weight rapidly, or what diet pills or laxatives to use, I will delete your comment immediately. This community will NOT be the reason someone became ill, developed an eating disorder, or even died.

RULE #4: We do not encourage "group fasts" here. Do not ask for people to join you in harming yourself.
These 'group fasts' or 'texting buddies' can become very dangerous. Some people may even use them as a competition and therefore become very ill. I understand some people want the support of a texting buddy but I know for a fact most people will send a text to the other person telling them to stop eating or tell them 'they're strong enough not to eat.' Disgusting. It is also very dangerous on the account you have no idea who is on the other side of that phone. It could be ANYONE.

RULE #5: Do NOT post your exact location when/if filling in "Current Location". This is for your safety.
I know a lot of your phones automatically put your current location into your post, but it is strictly against the rules. All I'm asking is that you check your post once it's posted to make sure it is not added to it. If you do not delete it, your post will eventually be deleted itself with no warning.

RULE #6: Do NOT delete comments on your entry or replies.
This is very common with people who do not have an eating disorder to begin with. They get angry at what other members have to say, to keep them safe, so they end up deleting comments they don't like. I, as well as the other mod, will not tolerate this. It is out of respect you keep those comments on your posts, whether you like them or not. If they are harmful or disrespectful towards you, send a PM to me and I will take care of it.

Simple, right? If you have any problems with any of these rules, contact me through PM, or comment here.
atsukofatsukof on May 20th, 2013 07:52 pm (UTC)
thankyou! I've seen alot of rules broken latley. sometimes people just need to be reminded of things
Thinskin23thinskin23 on May 20th, 2013 08:34 pm (UTC)
Nice! Thanks for this.
0_avalanche_00_avalanche_0 on May 21st, 2013 12:31 am (UTC)
Thanks for posting this. I feel like i am constantly having to remind people of the rules! Most posters haven't even realised they've broken one and are quick to rectify it, but i hate the wannas who get all shitty when you pull them up on it.
bluedragonfly95bluedragonfly95 on May 21st, 2013 12:37 pm (UTC)
You said it all
diana38zopta3 on May 21st, 2013 12:32 am (UTC)
Finally-thank you. I am tired of being attacked by those who want to become sick,think eds are a a diet or post giant journals on what they ate,fitness pal or I am fat garbage.
gizzygirl14gizzygirl14 on May 21st, 2013 01:02 am (UTC)
Thank you for,putting this post up....hopefully, it will weed out the wannas
gi_nterruptedgi_nterrupted on May 21st, 2013 09:19 am (UTC)
I wonder if there's any way to pin this to the top of the 'recent entries feed'. In United Secrets there's a static post you see every time you visit the page.
juliaheartsjuliahearts on May 21st, 2013 03:57 pm (UTC)
Yup, it already is.
bluedragonfly95bluedragonfly95 on May 21st, 2013 12:36 pm (UTC)
Hey Julia I mean no disrespect and can not pm at the moment being on my phone. So you can delete this. But I was just wondering everything you said is valid and I definitely agree BUT is there a way to make this post smaller? I know it grabs your attention and serves its purpose as a constant in your face reminder but it's SUPER long and the first thing my phone sees and I kinda feel messy an claustrophobic because of it :/ it sounds dumb and I'm sorry but I just thought it couldn't hurt to ask. Sorry if you consider this inappropriate rude as I said you can delete this I will not be offended. Thanks for listening I hope something can be figured out :/ xx
bluedragonfly95bluedragonfly95 on May 21st, 2013 12:40 pm (UTC)
But I do think it is a good idea to keep this at the top of our news feed but maybe we can find a happy medium? (If you look at US you will see that the pin up isn't too elaborate) Short simple concise and straight to the point yet firm and authoritative. I mean no harm and hope you understand.
(no subject) - danimalstitcher on May 21st, 2013 02:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bag_of_ice on May 21st, 2013 03:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - danimalstitcher on May 21st, 2013 03:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - juliahearts on May 21st, 2013 03:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - koalaluvr2015 on May 30th, 2013 01:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - juliahearts on May 30th, 2013 03:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
horseloveriihorseloverii on May 21st, 2013 05:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks for posting the rules in detail.

May I ask one question?

For rule #3: What kind of tips and tricks aren't considered 'harmful'. Isn't any kind of tip or trick for eating disorders harmful?

Thanks again!

Edited at 2013-05-21 05:13 pm (UTC)
juliaheartsjuliahearts on May 21st, 2013 06:38 pm (UTC)
It was one of the original rules here and I guess never looked to into it, thinking that people would never get out harmful advice. I'll probably remove that part soon. It doesn't make sense to me either.
(no subject) - bag_of_ice on May 22nd, 2013 04:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - 0_avalanche_0 on May 22nd, 2013 06:52 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - bag_of_ice on July 15th, 2013 04:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
lolitadiana4life on May 21st, 2013 08:30 pm (UTC)
i love being reminded of the rules, sometimes i feel i break them and of course my pics and some trigerring stuff that i dont put under a cut, im sorry about it, and this way i know i have to make a cut and all that, thank you
beautifulwitchbeautifulwitch on May 25th, 2013 05:39 am (UTC)
I wish there was a way to put the post on the side-bar or something. Since it's always at the top it looks like nobody posts any new posts after the date of the post. Perhaps it's silly but it might confuse people and have them not read further posts. I don't know. But overall having rules posted is a good idea, just maybe not at the very top of the page.
juliaheartsjuliahearts on May 25th, 2013 02:20 pm (UTC)
It's on the top for a reason. ALL of these rules are in the info of the community, but people are not following them. For the time being they are staying here. It'll be gone by June 1st.
(no subject) - beautifulwitch on May 25th, 2013 07:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
rainbowgirl5964rainbowgirl5964 on May 25th, 2013 06:05 am (UTC)
Thanks for reminding us :)
A question: what about triggering texts? I know I sometimes upload triggering stuff from my mobile, I use to write on the title that it may be triggering. Is that ok? Just because there's written about pictures and not texts. x
juliaheartsjuliahearts on May 25th, 2013 02:21 pm (UTC)
It's perfectly fine posting your original post with triggering topics. Also, saying it's triggering is very greatly appreciated.
AnraSvetanrasvet on May 29th, 2013 06:45 am (UTC)
I can honestly say I have broken the picture rule. Many times. You can delete those posts if you'd like. But the rule about not encouraging the disorder, but helping someone else get through it. I try my best when I do come on here and browse the comments all these beautiful ladies and some men leave, and..it breaks my heart. To me this site is supposed to help someone who wants the help, To get the support and love from other people who are going through the same thing. And I love giving back what Ive been given. Through this site, ive gained like 10 pounds. Im 95 now. Thank god.
juliaheartsjuliahearts on May 29th, 2013 04:33 pm (UTC)
It's no problem, just make sure in the future you put photos behind a cut. And I'm really, really glad you try your best to help, that's all I can ask for. I'm also very glad you gained some weight, especially because of this community. Keep up the awesome work.
Re: IM SOWWY. - anrasvet on May 29th, 2013 10:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: IM SOWWY. - juliahearts on May 30th, 2013 03:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
fatgorrilla on June 5th, 2013 02:36 pm (UTC)
this isnt directly linked but how the hell do i start a post i dont want to rant on other peoples pages
juliaheartsjuliahearts on June 5th, 2013 05:32 pm (UTC)
On top of the page, in the middle, click on "Post to community".
lilly_girl_77lilly_girl_77 on June 18th, 2013 06:40 am (UTC)
thank you for making this clear. this is my first time with a site like this and dont want to ruin it or upset anyone.
lilly_girl_77lilly_girl_77 on June 18th, 2013 06:44 am (UTC)
1 more thing. a little confused about the "cut pic" basically is what i have ok? sorry for not understanding :/ seems stupid question but wanna know :(
bag_of_icebag_of_ice on June 24th, 2013 12:31 am (UTC)
This means that if you make a post, you need to put any photos you include under a cut.
demon_hostdemon_host on June 21st, 2013 06:38 am (UTC)
I'm sorry if this is a really stupid question! But when I go to post to community it says that I don't have permission to post to you, how do I fix this? I'd really love to connect with others x
bag_of_icebag_of_ice on June 24th, 2013 12:30 am (UTC)
You're not currently a member of the community. In order to make a post to the community, you need to become a member. You can do this through the comm's info page.
danimalstitcherdanimalstitcher on June 25th, 2013 10:29 am (UTC)
Pictures behind a cut is a safe and sensible rule. Do any rules apply to userpics? There are the odd incredibly triggering userpics popping up sometimes. Just wondering.
juliaheartsjuliahearts on June 30th, 2013 08:09 pm (UTC)
That's actually a really good point, thank you for point that out! Could you give me an example of you think is trigging? Sorry for such a delayed response, by the way.
(no subject) - danimalstitcher on June 30th, 2013 08:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - juliahearts on July 6th, 2013 09:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
fatgorrilla on July 30th, 2013 09:47 pm (UTC)
apologies to everyone if my last post broke the rules
femme_nistefemme_niste on August 4th, 2013 01:20 am (UTC)
Some Questions

No offense intended by this question, it's been a few months since I've been on this site for a couple reasons and I don't want to step on anybodies skirt, so feel free to delete my comment if it's considered unnecesary feather ruffling:

1. What is the difference between "Wanna" and "Pro-Ana":

I have been reading and contributing to pro-ana groups for probably 6-8 years under various accounts since I first developed a disorder (around 16 years old) and at first I was *very* annoyed by what I called "Wanna-rexics" - young women who looked at the boards for weight loss advice. More than that I was scared that another woman would call *me* wanna-rexic, because the boundary of this identity was ill-defined. While there were many times that P.A. to get support and understanding while I struggled through the rough patches, most often I found confirmation that my disordered thinking is 'normal' and reaffirmation of the centrality of my weight, which definitely triggered me. To me, it seemed like the whole point: we all came here to be triggered and avoid eating a bit longer. As I mentioned before, there is a lot of potential for growth and support, but we are kidding ourselves if we don't aknowledge the other side of the coin.

2. What is the difference between "Helpful Tricks" and Enabling?:

Writing this feels particularly troll-y. I am ALL for harm-reduction, it's awesome in principle. It seems like this rule banning "tips and tricks" is well intentioned in its many incarnations on varous P.A. sites, but ends up being a way to enable eachother. Safety and Harm Reduction is important, yes. I love that occasionally I will get good advice here that keeps me from killing myself. More often than not I get advice that merely helps me keep my disorder going, and helps me not be detected. For example, I probably never would have gone to treatment when I was 18 if my teeth hadn't started falling out and my dentist hadn't called the cops on me. It's called rock bottom people, all addicts have been there.

Harm Reduction looks like safety strategies and back-up plans, not getting un-informed "medical" advice from strangers, most of whom are suffering from similar mental disordered thinking and almost all of whom lack any medical background to support their claims.

I have a problem with these two rules in principle though I have no problem following them. Occasionally, I to have offered half-baked well intentioned advice to an anorexic or bulemic woman on how to keep calm and carry on, only to look back and think "that peice of advice kept her marching silently through hell". There have also been times I have used the term "wanna-rexic" to elevate myself above people who I was no different or better than, and I have used that term to deny the seriousness of my own disorder on many occasions.

I believe these things are important to consider. You are the mod, not I, and you know the pulse of this community much better than I do. I just felt the need to add some input.

all the best,
F_N <3
juliaheartsjuliahearts on August 11th, 2013 07:28 pm (UTC)
Re: Some Questions
So sorry for the late reply!

For your first question: What is the difference between "Wanna" and "Pro-Ana"? Is, 'wanna' is seimply where something just wants to be anorexic or bulbimic or any other eating disorder. But we all know eating disorders are more in the brain than it is on our bodies. It consumes people, and it's not just about losing weight. 'Wanna's' don't get that. 'pro-ana' (and this is what i think) is people with eating disorders that freely want to talk about their eating habits without feeling judged or holding anything back.

Your second: What is the difference between "Helpful Tricks" and Enabling?: While I do not support people doing any type of tricks, i know it's going to happen anyways, i can't stop it all the time. Enabling is where someone says 'don't eat this or that' or tips on how to purge, things like that. 'helpful tricks' i would say would be, i guess, ways to get out of going out to eat because the thought of eating in public terrifies you. Does that make sense?

Thank you so much for your questions!
Re: Some Questions - femme_niste on August 17th, 2013 09:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Some Questions - bag_of_ice on August 14th, 2013 04:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Some Questions - femme_niste on August 17th, 2013 04:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
lolitadiana4life on August 7th, 2013 02:28 pm (UTC)
I just have one tiny non ed related question;
why isn't there a like button, I love everything but sometimes I really want to just hit like because I don't know what to reply and I really like the post.
I don't know if I made any sense?
juliaheartsjuliahearts on August 11th, 2013 07:29 pm (UTC)
It has nothing to do with the community, Livejournal isn't Facebook, so they don't have that. But, I definitely get where you're coming from, I think that would be a great addition to the site.
(no subject) - diana4life on September 2nd, 2013 03:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
besoel_babybesoel_baby on August 9th, 2013 01:55 am (UTC)
AMEN to that!! Finally, it has happened. I stopped coming to the site because people were doing the exact things they were not supposed to be doing. I'm very excited to once again be an active and supportive member! THANK YOU!!!!
(Deleted comment)
0_avalanche_00_avalanche_0 on August 20th, 2013 05:25 am (UTC)
Re: im surprised.
hahahahaha. Pretty sure it's not illegal - no cop is going to bust down the mod's door because they requested that the posters on an ED site have an ED....
Re: im surprised. - juliahearts on August 20th, 2013 05:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: im surprised. - bag_of_ice on August 27th, 2013 11:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
juliaheartsjuliahearts on August 22nd, 2013 08:04 am (UTC)
....You're joking right?
Re: ORLY? - paraffin_chic on August 22nd, 2013 12:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: ORLY? - juliahearts on August 22nd, 2013 07:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: ORLY? - gi_nterrupted on August 23rd, 2013 11:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: ORLY? - paraffin_chic on August 26th, 2013 07:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: ORLY? - juliahearts on August 26th, 2013 07:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: ORLY? - 0_avalanche_0 on August 27th, 2013 05:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: ORLY? - 0_avalanche_0 on August 27th, 2013 05:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: ORLY? - cagedbatty on October 3rd, 2013 01:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: ORLY? - 0_avalanche_0 on August 23rd, 2013 12:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Re: ORLY? - bag_of_ice on August 27th, 2013 11:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: ORLY? - bag_of_ice on August 27th, 2013 11:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
guitar4evaguitar4eva on September 11th, 2013 06:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the recap, we all appreciate it
kkaeeak3786 on September 21st, 2013 04:59 pm (UTC)
How do I join? I don't see a join button
juliaheartsjuliahearts on September 22nd, 2013 02:34 am (UTC)
On the top of your page, right in the middle there's a button you can press that says "Join this community"!